How Do You Start Loving Yourself? (When You Don’t Even Know Where to Begin)
Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Why is it so hard to love myself"“?
Do you catch yourself saying things in your head that you’d never say to someone you care about?
Maybe you’ve spent years putting everyone else first and now you feel like a stranger to yourself.
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone and you’re not broken.
The truth is, most of us were never taught how to love ourselves. We were taught to achieve, to please, to perform. But self love? That’s a practice and it starts with small, intentional steps that build over time.
Here’s how you can begin:
1. Start Noticing Your Inner Voice
Would you talk to a friend the way you speak to yourself?
Self love begins with awareness. Pay attention to your internal dialogue. Is it kind? Encouraging? Or is it judgmental and critical?
Empowering tip: Each time you catch a negative thought, pause and reframe it with compassion. Instead of “I’m such a mess,” try, “I’m learning and growing, and that’s okay.”
2. Meet Your Own Needs
Do you find yourself running on empty, always giving and rarely receiving, even from yourself?
Self love is not selfish. It’s choosing to check in with yourself the same way you would with someone you care about.
Empowering tip: Ask yourself daily, What do I need right now? Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s boundaries. Maybe it’s just five minutes of silence. Honour that need.
3. Celebrate the Small Wins
Are you constantly moving the goalpost, never feeling like you’re “there” yet?
Self love grows when we acknowledge progress, even the tiniest steps forward.
Empowering tip: At the end of each day, write down one thing you did well. One thing you’re proud of. One thing that felt like love.
4. Be With Your Emotions, Not Against Them
Do you shame yourself for feeling too much? Or try to numb what hurts?
Self love means holding space for your full humanity. You’re not too much. You’re human.
Empowering tip: When a hard feeling shows up, greet it like a wave. I see you. I feel you. You’re safe here. Then let it pass, without judgment.
You don’t need to have it all figured out to start loving yourself. You just need a willingness to show up for yourself, one moment at a time.
Remember: Self love isn’t a destination. It’s a relationship. And just like any relationship, it grows with patience, compassion and presence.
You're worthy of your own love. Exactly as you are, right now.